What About Now?
by Catch
Summary: Harm's got some conflicting emotions and finds out there's no time like the present.
1. Love

Title: What About Now?

Author: Catch

Disclaimer: Insert standard issue disclaimer here

Spoilers: Nothing specific, but it's all fair game

AN: I shamelessly stole the title from a Lonestar song, but the fic isn't really based on the song.  There are similarities, but I swear, the idea came from title alone.  This is my first attempt to write a fic from Harm's POV, so keep that in mind when reviewing.

What About Now?

There once was a time when the words, "No excuses, sir!" were programmed into my head.  I would spit it out when some detailer was yelling in my face about how my rack wasn't properly squared away.  I wish that detailer was here screaming at me now.  Maybe that's what I need to get my act together. It worked then; why not now?  Because I'm not some 18 year-old plebe anymore.  The issue at hand is a little more serious than not having perfect hospital corners.  More serious, yes, but it should be just as easy to solve, right?

Should be.  Those are the key words.  I keep finding excuses though.  There were the somewhat legitimate ones (I say somewhat because there is still that little part of me that believes in, "No excuses, sir!").  You know, the Bugmes and Video Princesses.  Then there were the ones that were excuses and nothing more.  Things like, "It's too late to go over there," or, "I'm on a carrier conducting an investigation."  They were obstacles, sure, but not valid reasons as to why I wasn't telling her how I really felt.  See, I know I've had my head in my six for quite some time.  I'm not as oblivious to my feelings as people seem to think I am.  Every time I started thinking about her (which is quite often), I always seem to find one reason as to why I can't tell her now (which has led to a plethora of excuses).  Midshipman Second Class Riddell, where were you when I needed you?

Every time but now it seems.  She's here, in my apartment, nose buried in the case file in front her.  She's cute when she's frustrated, but she'd kick my six if she knew I thought that.  Or would she?  What would she do if she knew how I felt about her?  This is where the excuse comes in, Hammer.  You don't have one this time though do you?  There's no reason why I can't tell her.  No significant others to deal with.  The logistics and timing are not a problem.  Face it, there's not an excuse in the world that would fly if you didn't say something now.  It's time I started believing in "no excuses" for once instead of just regurgitating the words.  You're not going to find a better time, Rabb.  What about now?

Short and sweet, it's how I like 'em.  You know the drill.  R&R please!     


	2. And Marriage

AN:  So this is probably not what ya'll (I'm not really from the South, but my RA is so cute when she says this) had envisioned, but I wanted to do something a little bit nontraditional.  Yes, I know it took me long enough, but it's my first semester at college, Notre Dame no less.  Ok, I'm done rambling.  On with it.

Chapter 2

It worked the first time.  It should work this time, right?  The logic of having absolutely no logic worked.  Okay, stop thinking like that, Rabb.  You're confusing the hell out of yourself now.  You've got everything you need right to pull this off.  Well, that really only consists of Mac and the ring.  Right?  I mean I feel like I should have something really elaborate planned.  But what's the sense in that?  I'm not flashy.  Mac's not flashy.  Hell, when I told here I loved her, I just blurted out, "Mac, you know I love you, right?"  How's that for romantic?  

That's why I feel like I should have something more planned then I do.  Something more than me, Mac, a movie, and my couch.  Should I wait?  Should I buy flowers?  How the hell am I supposed to know how to propose?  This is not easy.  Okay, breathe.  Relax.  This is Mac.  You love her.  She loves you.  You can do this.  Oh, who the hell am I kidding?  You don't have a clue, Hammer.

No, you can do this.  How long have you wanted to marry Mac?  A long time.  How longed have you loved Mac?  An even longer time.  That's all that matters.  What are you worrying about?  She's going to say yes.  Wait, is she going to say yes?  I mean, we never really talked about getting married.  Does she want to get married?  Oh my God.  How could I not have thought about this sooner?  Because it doesn't matter that's why.  You know that this is what you both want.  Just get a grip and give her the damn ring will you?  Ask her!  It's just Mac.  You know the woman you love.  The woman you want to spend the rest of your life with.  The woman who you want to carry your child.  Scratch that—children.  It's never going to happen if you don't ask her.  What about now?  

And we're done.  R&R please.  It makes me happy.  


End file.
